So this just happened! Back in 2021, in the beginning of spring, me and my little family drove a different route home from church. It was me, my husband, and my 1- and 3-year-old. It was a beautiful fresh spring day, and I was trying to be happy and just rest and be in the moment. That season of life was extremely difficult for us in the aspect of our marriage, work life and even church life. We felt no joy or comfort in any, so we decided to do something new today to see if we could perk up, so we drove the long way home down this beautiful country road. As I was gazing outside, we drove past this beautiful green pasture that had these cute little white flowers. I stared at them because of how small and beautiful they were, and the lord began to touch my heart and fill my belly with butterflies as we drove by them and said, “these will be at your new home”. I wrote down a note to add that revelation to me and my hubby’s house journal. Even though we were in a low season searching for joy, we would watch a lot of house design videos and décor videos for our future home to give us hope and inspiration. Once we got home, I wrote this in my notebook, “The Lily of the Valley <3 Lord, these flowers are significant and hold value because you spoke to me and impressed in me that they are symbolic in my life. I don’t know what they will do down the road for being in our house, but I know they will be impactful. Every decoration will have a meaning and significance.” Fast forward to May 2022, long story short, we made a huge move that no one saw coming, not even us. We moved 15 hours away to another state. We left the city to live in the country to be closer to my husband’s family and to just be obedient to God. God told us to go so we left and walked in faith. When we got to our new state with no plan, we stayed with my in-laws for 4 months in a tiny room with our cat lol. Yes, it was extremely difficult but we knew God told us to be there and He was with us. Then one day my brother in-law offered us to rent a house he bought next door. It was in okay shape, just old with tons of cobb webs and bugs lol but we cleaned it up and settled in. One day, my kids were playing in the dirt as usual, and I turned to the left to look at a group of flowers still trying to grow. It was a hard winter. As I looked closer amid the flowers and I screamed! I saw the Lily of the valley flowers! I ran inside and told my husband and looked up the meaning of the flowers in google (of course letting the holy spirit speak to me as I read. And yea, I am not sure why I never looked up the meaning before lol!) and it means: “In Victorian times, lily of the valley meant a ‘return to happiness’. In Christian legend, Eve’s tears as she was expelled from the Garden of Eden turned into lily of the valley. The lily of the valley s also seen as a symbol of humility and a sign of Christ’s second Coming” As I read these words the lord reminded me of the fasts I have been doing for a little over a month now and that how everything I have prayed for in that fast, He is bringing to past and restoring. God is with you. HE will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). Always know He is present and speaking and turn your heart to Him. Seek Him and you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). Trust in Him and Abide.

Proverbs 9: 1-2 “Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn out and set up her seven [perfect number of] pillars. She has killed her beasts, she has mixed her [spiritual ] wine; she has also set her table. Matthew 22: 2-4 “The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son, and sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come. Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage. The feast is done. The banquet is ready. The dance floor is waiting for our arrival and most importantly Jesus can’t wait to see our beauty. His Bride. For the ones that have allowed God to pour wisdom in, we have the privilege to see and be a part of this beautiful feast. When I read this scripture in Proverbs I found myself stuck on verses 1 and 2. I couldn’t read past verse 2 without the rest of the words after the verse crumbling before my eyes. God beckoned me to come back to verse 2 and stop. Here is what I saw: Wisdom, from God, is perfect. She has perfect plans because she is Gods. When we draw an ear to hear her voice our path’s become aligned with God and perfect. Our eyes open to see His plans for us and our will becomes His. There is no failing in Christ Jesus. He has it all laid out for us already. The wedding feast parable painted a picture to me, showing that every beast was sacrificed, slaughtered and prepared for us. The people in the old testament had access to the father with the sacrifice they made to Him, but the sacrifice which we were saved by is better. The ultimate sacrifice. Everything is ready for us even when we don’t feel adequate to come. The blood of Jesus has paved our way back to the Father with our true repentance, acknowledgement and acceptance of what God has done for us. Wisdom screams, “look up! The ultimate sacrifice for your sins has been done. Walk it out with confidence, because you are now close to the Father again. Wisdom has led me to see the feast. Wisdom has led me to the door that Jesus knocks on.

This theme/ act of “giving the Lord all your heart”, keeps playing in my head. It has been spoken in my heart these last few days and it is making me see the depth of this saying. In 1 Samuel 7:3-4 it stated, “So Samuel said to all the Israelites, “If you are returning to the Lord with all your hearts, then rid yourselves of the foreign gods and the Ashtoreths and commit yourselves to the Lord and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines.” 4So the Israelites put away their Baals and Ashtoreths, and served the Lord only”. This scripture reminded me of the scripture in Pslam 9:1, which says, “I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds”. When we do things with our whole heart something miraculous happens. When we read the scripture in Matthew 22: 37 where it says, “He said to him, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command”, what is it really saying to us? From what I understand it is saying to do things with pure and true motives unto the Lord. To be all in for Him, fully dedicated without lack or staggering. God does not want you half in He wants you all in. You don’t have to be perfect but willing and ready with an open heart to listen and do as He instructs. He will move you forward in the right direction and help you, but you have to be intentional of submitting first and trusting Him. God had Israels back the whole time. God was just waiting for their response and their response was to turn away and repent. Once they did that God was able to righteously guard and protect them like He always wanted to do.

This really hits my heart you guys. So, I have seen so many people say, “Well, God didn’t hear my prayers so He must not love me/ know me or hear me so you know what, I just simply don’t believe He exists. That really breaks my heart because the Father sees us all. I get where you are at and understand the anguish you are going through/ have gone through but let me just tell you that you are so loved beyond what you think and He sees and hears everything you do and takes it into consideration. The reason why some of us feel this way about prayer is because our prayers do not have the right intent. We are praying and asking from a place of either self-gain or we are missing the bigger picture of what we truly need. God is trying to align your hearts with His so we can pray perfect prayers in alignment with Him and receive an abundance from them. James 4: 3 says it perfectly “You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures”. We may not be trying to dwell and delight in our own passions and will but it happens sometimes. Come back and lay your heart down to God and try again. He has an abundance of Mercy. He wants to bless you with finances or a husband or children, a business, school, whatever the case may be God wants to bless you but He needs you to align with Him. We live in a very spiritual world where spirits swirl all around us whether we see them or not. They block you from reaching God by getting to your heart and motives out of line without you even noticing. Our patterns have brought forth unhealthy habits and invited unwanted evil visitors that honestly you guys we just do not notice because we aren’t spending quality time with Jesus. When we run into the Fathers presence and stay there, wow, the things He will show you and teach you are amazing. This walk is a journey, or what I recently learned from Bethe Moore a quest. God wants you to be His best friend and grow and mature with him. He wants your prayers to be purposeful for His kingdom and He wants to show you that what He delights in is you. His kingdom refers to His children and the will He has for us all which is that we all should be saved. 1 Timothy 2:1-4. He wants our prayers to be powerful because He has given us authority and power to be rulers of this land. Why wouldn’t we want to move in power and have powerful prayers? You can heal the sick, raise the dead, crush the head of serpents! Know who you are in Christ and I guarantee you that you will move powerfully and gracefully in the LORD. Psalm 27: 3-4; Ephesians 6:12; Hebrews 4:13

Swollen Sores, clenching my everyday sword hoping to find an answer to my daily troubles. Troubles grumble inside, stirring until I can't bear it anymore. I thought this journey was just about reading but why do I keep bleeding!? Why do I keep seeing a beating heart lit on fire? Oh Lord, save me from this storm. Suddenly, I hear a whisper. Praying until the moisture on my lips leave. You see I been doing this for only a small time. Refusing to step outside my box again because I don't want to feel their punches anymore! Their debates, loud sighs, Oh Lord I don't want quick good byes with you anymore My faith wavers like I'm on a crooked fence, I call upon your name with a caved chest, I'm restless. I wonder when I'm going to spread your seeds again. Gluttony fills me, I hold onto the word, and immediately it feeds me.