Here I am, sitting inside of a coffee shop... alone... with thoughts roaming through my head. Sitting here, I randomly just get emotional and feel this heavy burden on my chest. So, let's talk this out.
In Psalm 73:1-5, Psalmist Asaph writes,
"No doubt about it! God is good—
good to good people, good to the good-hearted.
But I nearly missed it,
missed seeing his goodness.
I was looking the other way,
looking up to the people
At the top,
envying the wicked who have it made,
Who have nothing to worry about,
not a care in the whole wide world."
I encourage you to read the Psalm in its entirety, but many of us are like Asaph. We lose sight of the goodness of God because our focus is often times turned from Him. We fall into comparison and watching what other people are doing. We live carnal lives and fail to walk in obedience to the life that God wants for us. I understand because I have been there. I have not perfected this life, but I am making intentional efforts to stay in His will and in His presence.
Let me say this: Even when you have a major call on your life, you still feel grief, you're still burdened, sometimes you even feel helpless and that the only thing you can do is pray and stand in the gap. You FEEL. Sometimes you don't. There have been times where I have been so depressed that I was numb and couldn't feel. You see things that even make you ask God what's going on, lacking understanding.
But God is so much God that He will comfort you or warn you before it happens, just to let you know He's in the details before it happens. He will give you peace in a place that feels chaotic. He will give you direction in the wilderness.
This post isn't me saying I'm not okay, because I'm actually great. I just really wish sometimes that I could... do more for those that are suffering, who battle in their minds, who feel depressed and lost, who battle with addiction, those that are suicidal. I'm just extremely burdened. We've become so desensitized by death, by people's cries for help. Some even just laugh and record it, without truly trying to help out. The next trend, the new song, the next WHATEVER, that we are blind in seeing the ACTUAL state of people's mind and heart.
There are people questioning the goodness of the Lord, if He really cares and loves them because of the evil that has taken place in the world. If only I could allow them to see God the way that I see Him and show them the true spirits behind the evil in the world.
It's time we wake up! Life is short. If you haven't seen that by now, you're blinded. Wake up!
It's time to do some soul work. It's time to place God back in His rightful place in our lives, in our hearts and in our mind. We need to get back focused to the TRUE matter at hand.