"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all out affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
The God of mercies and comfort is always present with open arms, waiting for us to run to Him. Things have been a little difficult lately. One thing led to another and created a domino effect that can only be laughed about in a couple of days, months, or years. It felt as though the weight of the world was crashing, but I knew my Shield still surrounded me. My God was still there but instead of magnifying His goodness, my eyes shifted to the issues. I blinked, looked away and just like that, my eyes deceived me. My gaze focused solely on the events happening around me. My eyes watered and as much as I could, I tried keeping them in. I tried clearing my throat so my voice wouldn't break. I tried drinking water for the tears to stop pooling (I learned this trick almost a decade ago) alas, that too didn't work. Nothing I did worked. I was not strong enough. Again, I was reminded of my own weakness. I was reminded that even at this point, even in this moment when all I want to do is grow closer to God, I still fall short, I still drift my focus from Him to things in the world and I still dare to take care of things on my own.
I let the tears fall and ran back to Him.
I told Him everything. I told Him I was too weak to handle things. I told Him I didn't want to do it anymore. I told Him the situation was too hard. I told Him that He should take care it because I couldn't. He listened.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30).
There's nothing in my control. Not the world, not my circumstances, not my life, not my body. The One it all belongs to calls me to rest at times like these. He calls me to draw closer to Him, and not grow weary because all things work for my good when I rest in Him. I dried my tears and told Him everything as if He didn't know. I started from the beginning. This is what happened today. This is what's going on, and I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me figure it out.
'Rest', He said.
There was that word again. It doesn't echo when He says it nor does it feel like a rush.
It comes as a whisper, one I'm only able to hear when I remain still.
It is gentle to the eardrums and finds its way toward my heart, looking for a nesting place.
When the chaos of the world would find its way to my doorstep, every time things of the world spiraled to depths I did not think I'll fall into, every single time my own strength fools me in taking control of situations, He whispers, rest.
"Count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing," (James 1:2-4).
I shift my gaze once more to my Shepherd.
He has never and will never let me down.
He is my savior, my comfort, my God.
I am reminded of the strength that can only be found in Him.
I am reminded of the everlasting peace, goodness, and grace that overflows from Him.
I lift all my worries, my sadness, my anger, and my current anguish to Him.
"The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us," (Romans 8:18).
It's all in His hands.
Matthew 11:28-30, James 1:2-4, Romans 8:18, Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
The Found Sheep